I met a man a few months back who seemed... just right. I don't mean to sound like Goldilocks here, but when you've gone from bad, to okay, to what-was-I-thinking, to this-guy-might-be-fun-to-date-for-a-while; when you finally come across a man who is just right, you notice it.
He was smart and funny, had a decent job, ambition, dreams, hopes, and a good balance of family, fun and work. He liked to get outdoors and have adventures, as well as spend time just hanging out. Not too hot, not too arrogant. I wouldn't say he was perfect, and you'll soon see why, but he sure was close!
We met a few months back while I was going through a 'Non-Practicing' phase in life, meaning that I decided to just not date, at all. We met through work and chatted a few times over the phone about work needs, and the conversation always strayed to personal things. We're very close in age, and so we have quite a few things in common and I have no doubt that he was buttering me up to make a sale. He finally asked me out on a date (I say finally, but really, it wasn't that long that we knew each other, and there is always the challenge of crossing the line between "professional" and "personal" and still being able to hang onto the professional, even if it doesn't work out.) He took a chance. He emailed me one day after chatting on the phone and really put himself out there. I had told myself, in this Non-Practicing phase, that I would only break my fast of men for someone who really grabbed my attention. Well, this man had already grabbed my attention when he walked into my office a few months ago with his sweet-sweet goodies (cookies and cupcakes to be exact) so when he asked me out for drinks, even though it was in an email, I felt like I owed it to myself to go. For the duration of this blog, we'll call him The Cookie Monster (TCM).
The Cookie Monster took me out to a trendy little place off Yonge Street and we had a great time. He dressed appropriately for the date and was a perfect gentleman. He was there first, got us a table and politely waited for my arrival. Drinks and conversation were wonderful. We never didn't have something to say, which is something I notice on first dates (if you don't have anything to say to me after 2 hours, what are we going to talk about 2 months from now?!). We both talked about how we have no-one and nothing holding us back from adventures right now. We both like road trips. We both have sisters who are married and have kids. We talked and talked. He paid for the drinks, even though I offered to pitch in. And he drove me home.
Since this is a blog about dating, I will tell you that I will kiss-and-tell. And I have alot of good things to say about his kissing. That was just another area that we seemed to just ... fit. I ended up inviting him in to watch a movie. I can say that we didn't so much watch the movie (but we also didn't have sex- I'm really not the kind of girl to hop into bed on the first date). We made-out through the whole movie, and I would have just kept kissing him all night long if I had my choice. Unfortunately, we both had things to do the next day, so staying up past the early hours of the morning was not reasonable for either of us. When he was leaving, he asked when he could see me again. With most guys, I play it cool and tell them we'll plan something soon. With him, I actually wanted to see him again.. and soon. We planned for the next week.
Date two: only the third second-date I've had in two years because men just haven't impressed me. He again, came over to watch a movie. We watched more of this one, but not much more. We talked a bit, and made-out some more. I felt young again, in the best way possible. I actually guessed when my roommate would be home and closed my bedroom door about four minutes before she got home. I felt like a teenager hiding from my parents, but it was fun and sneaky (and not dorky and stupid). We poked fun at each other and laughed and talked about things we want to do in life. It was great.
I should mention that on our first date he talked about going back to school. He wanted to travel to another country to do it, and he wanted to go in September. (I didn't mention to him that to go to school for the particular thing he wanted to in September, you should have already applied... four months ago).
Anyway, the next weekend brought about a little trip for me to see my best friend, we'll call her Wilma. While I was on the bus, The Cookie Monster text me and told me to have a good time. Thanks! He also told me he was thinking alot about his life and where he was going. I told him to "Follow your heart" as cheesy as that sounds.
On my way back, I text him and he asked how my weekend was. Great, thanks! I asked what his week was looking like. This is where I think he flipped out. Not in a bad, freakish way, but in the way that frogs do when you drop them into boiling water. TCM called me and told me "I am just having fun" and "I don't want anyone to get hurt"... "I might be leaving in eight months"... All of these things I know. I am WELL aware that you think you're leaving in eight months. I was "just having fun", and I don't want anyone to get hurt either, but thank you for thinking highly enough of yourself that you think I'll fall head-over-heals for you and you'll break my heart when you leave in "eight months"! And by the way, since when does "What is your week looking like" mean "Hey, so where's my ring and when are we getting married?" I really don't know when or where things went so awry. He must have cooked himself up some strange ideas about what I must want from him while he was baking all those cookies for work.
I honestly don't know what I may have said or done to make him think that I'm the sort of woman to totally latch on, especially when he said on the first date that he might be leaving. I already knew there was a potential expiration date on whatever this was. I just wanted to have some fun with him too...
I suppose it's a good thing he ended it prematurely because I wasn't ready to give up being single yet!
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